Sunday, May 30, 2004

Weekend-- Texas style

I am moving out of my apt TOMORROW and I haven't done anything. I should be packing, buuuut...there are few things better than spending a weekend in Texas style-- bbq & beer by the pool, or idling in the lake. Yesterday, bbq @ the pool with my rugby guys. Lots of beer, burgers, and guys flashing their asses. No packing done.

After the bbq, got home, packed one book, and my phone rang, "hey, I'm cooking a great dinner. Come over." I couldn't say no to two Louisiana boys fixing me dinner. Flounder stuffed crawfish, fresh shrimp, & an amazing salad. After dinner, we [me & 3 boys] went for ice cream. No packing done.

I was late to meet Farouche, so I dashed home (I was still in my swimsuit from the bbq), put on a dress and headed out. By 12:45am, I was tuckered out, so we start heading home, when Bouncer that works at a club found out I was leaving town, so he drug me in for shots. Then I was leaving again, and some friends showed up. Then I tried leaving again, and... needless to say, I didn't get home until well past 2. No packing done.

Today, I decided to spend the whole day packing. Got up, and emailed. No packing done. Went to grab lunch with friends. No packing done. Got a phone call from Tiny (a HUGE Jamaican dude) to go to the lake. So, of course, I head out. While I was at the dock waiting for the water taxi to take me to the cove, I spied 5 guys sitting at a table. One things led to another and we were discussing Dirty Sanchez and I was rubbing suntan lotion on their shoulders. The taxi took forever to come, so we hired some random dude to drive us out to their houseboat. At the houseboat, there were 8 more guys. I was the only girl on the boat. Hung out with them, drank waaay too much, jumped in the water & lost my swimsuit, got out of the water and flashed them my nipple (the highlight of their day), danced on Tiny's sweet yacht, got home at 9... no packing done.

I just called Farouche, and we're going downtown, which means I won't get any packing done tonight either... I thought my all-nighters would be over after I graduated from college...

Saturday, May 29, 2004

Two half-naked boys

Yesterday was a hellish day. Got up at 6 (eastern time, so 5am for me), took the train from Connecticut to NYC. Had breakfast with my boss at the Carlyle (that was quite nice, not hellish at all). Meetings till noon. Got a cab and made him hurry to take me to the airport. Thank god my flight back to DFW was running late. In DFW had dinner with a friend, went home, got my car, drove 3 hour in shitty Memorial Day weekend traffic. Showered, went to Farouche's house for drinks.

My buddy Scotland came over with his roommate & friend to drink with us a bit. Later, we all went downtown. Don't know how I get myself in these kind traps, but I ended up telling Scotland's roommate that if we went to a gay club, and he took his shirt off, that I'd flash him. So he did, and I did. Sometimes I wish I were shy. None of the other boys in the club cared about my bared breasts, but Roommate decided that since I had flashed him, I liked him. Pleeeease. So I spent the rest of the night pushing him away and slapping his hands when he felt me up. Mr. Octopus, that'll be his new name. And it turns out that Farouche and Scotland had decided to hook us up. Grrrr. Poor Scotland, I've tried telling him that I liked him, but I really don't think he gets it. In one ear, out the other...

So, back to me flashing Mr. Octopus... after the deed, I stole his shirt and put it on. He was trophied. Then Farouche & I decided that Scotland should be topless, too. So we took his shirt off and Farouche kept it. At some point, Farouche, not to be outdone by moi, flashed Scotland. It made the poor boy's night. Later on, Octopus decided that he'd had enough to drink, so he climbed on the stage, with his shirt still off, and started dancing away wtih all the gay boys. Good for him. But I think he was liking the gar bar thing a bit too much.

Today, no flashing (I hope) and lots of packing. The bbq @ 2. Yippee! Beer & Barbeque!

Thursday, May 27, 2004


Job in NYC cooler than I thought. Fast-paced, and a million things going on at once. The crazies that come in here make it interesting, too. Back in TX on Saturday, to pack up for the weekend, moving out of apt on Monday, and ACL knee surgery on Tuesday (ugh!--dr said this one will have considerable more pain than the last one!)

Monday, May 24, 2004


To all you who have no lives and live vicariously through me, I'm sad to say that I won't have much time to blog this week as I am in New York training for my future job (aka boring life). My one fun thing is that I skipped out on work to hang out with this boy. He said he doesn't read blogs, so I guess we'll see...

Sunday, May 23, 2004

Flirting to Get what you want ROCKS

For all you guys that didn't like the post on my Machiavelli-style flirting don't read this entry. If you're still reading on, I wanted to let everyone know that once again I manged to use my flirting abilities to my advantage. I booked a hotel for NYC on, which has no cancellation, no change policy. I called Saturday night and cancelled the hotel, without paying the HUGE fee. I lucked out and got a young guy on the phone, and I found out he was based in Texas, and well, don't you know it, I live in Texas, too. So many things in common. And no $250 fee for me. Yipee!!

Graduation Blunders

If I could graduate all over again, I would:

1. Wear underwear. Oops.

2. Not be as hung over.

3. Bring a flask and be drunk. At least that way all the jokes would be funnier.

4. I wouldn't be such dumbass. Example: While introducing my parents to my thesis advisor/great prof of mine. "Mom, Dad, this is Dr. __. He is a Shakespeare expert and wrote a really famous article on Othello."
Prof, "What article on Othello."
Stupid Me, "Uhhh, you know. The article. On Othello. That we read in class."
Prof-- has very confused look on his face, "What are you talking about?"
Me, getting annoyed, "The article on Othello you wrote. I still have it."
Prof, "You mean HAMLET?! We didn't read Othello in that class." OOPS

Good thing they can't ungraduate me!

Saturday, May 22, 2004


Am walking the stage in an hour or so and I'm hung over as hell.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Afternoon at the Lake

Me in my pink swimsuit & my big fuchsia hat, a car full of boys, & cooler full of beers. Great day for visiting Twin Falls.

Now it's nose to the grindstone. Gotta keep on packing.

Sunday, May 16, 2004

The Art of Flirting (Machiavelli style)

I have a final tomorrow, which isn't a big deal except for the fact that I quit going to class four weeks before the semester was over, and before that, went to class very sporadically. This means I have no notes. I somehow got a boy to email ALL his notes to me. All fourty-four typed. SINGLE spaced. All those notes for the small price of a smile and some kind (if untrue) words. Go me.

While these 44 pages were printing, I made an ice cream run. Unlike most girls I know, I don't diet. While in line to pay, I asked the boy in front of me if he would pay for my ice cream, too ::smile, smile:::, Well, of course he would want to do that. I was really expecting a no because I was looking verrrrry shabby. But I got my free ice cream and walked out. Leaving the boy open-mouthed. I guess he thought I would talk to him or something. Please. I have reading to do.

Yes, you can have your cake and eat it, too. And no, you don't have to lie in the bed you made. And you're really good, you have someone else make the bed for you!

::evil grin & cackle, then rubbing hands together::

Machiavelli would be proud. I'm sure of it.

Bye Bye fun stuff

Spent a lovely afternoon yesterday packing all the things I won't need in New York, ie, thousands of books, dishes, flower vases, etc. The other day Red stole a stack of newspapers for me to use to pack, and the newspapers happened to be The African American. So I've been wrapping my martini & champagne glasses while reading about the African American community.

Scottish boy called and we went to have a late lunch and drinks on the Lake with Thailand. After a long nap, I get ready to go to a birthday party wearing a shirt that I've owned for TWO year but never had the guts to wear- yeah, it's that scandalous. It was hot.

Thailand & I headed downtown, she was wearing a new pair of jeans that were super hot! We danced the night away. Somehow, hamstrings a bit sore today. I guess that has to do with the fact that I danced some awesome house/techno music. In Italy, in my early teens, I danced to this kind of music ALL the time. Now, I can't stand its repetitiveness for more than half an hour. But last night, at a hopping club, the dj decided to switch from top 40 to 80's jams (which I LOVED) to some awesome European techno. As soon as that techno came on, I went even wilder. The only other person in the whole club that could keep up was a French-Tunisian friend of the mine. Everyone else basically quit dancing and stared at us. I was groooovin'.

Then some dude started videotaping me (a BIG no-no, unless I know you). I was enjoying the dancing so much that, instead of starting a fight myself (which I would ususally do), I talked to one of the bouncers who took care of it for me.

Am throwing a party, graciously being hosted by Farouche, this coming Friday to get rid of my numerous bottles of booze before I leave Austin. It'll be a pre-party gig. We'll be kicking everyone out before midnight so we can go down and shake our bootays in the dance floor.. then I graduate the next morning at 9. Oh, yeah, the party is also for my graduation. Minor. Getting my friends drunk on my extra booze is more important. The goal of the night: to make sure i am STILL drunk at 9 when I walk the stage. I'd rather still be drunk than hung over!!

Btw, am not very keen on moving up to Yankee Land. But I have no choice. In too deep. And no alternatives.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Packing sucks.

'Nuff said.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

The Hunt for Flesh

When I walk into a club/ bar/ restaurant/ anywhere the opposite sex might be, I feel like a lioness on the prowl. The second I step through the threshold I know, within two quick heartbeats, if I will hunt down anyone in the bar. I scan the room. 99.9% of the guys present aren't even worth my glance. And yes, this is superficial, but I'm not talking about finding my soul mate here.

Take tonight for example. I had been swimming, hanging out by the pool, & cooking all day with friends. I went to the bar for dollar beer night on a whim. Because I had been swimming, I had no makeup on and my hair was still a bit wet and plastered to my head. But I stepped in the bar and -- am not trying to sound pretentious here-- but heads turn. Even dressed in my jeans & t-shirt, without makeup, I can make guy look at me. I call it magnetism, my friend Leah calls it je ne soi qua, Austin Powers calls it Mojo, but whatever it is, I think I have it. And that's all that matters. The attitude.

I was let down by the selection of males tonight. Drank my lone beer. Left disappointed.

Other instances, I'm rewarded much more easily. Last week on campus, for example, I was walking to class. A handsome guy was walking towards me. I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he found me attractive. And it was reciprocated. When he walked next to me, I pulled my sunglasses down the bridge of my nose and smiled at him. He walked past me and kept his head swiveled to keep his gaze on me. He kept turning to look at me until... well...

He hit a pole.

Monday, May 10, 2004

Sucking the Head

My buddy from New Orleans had a craw fish boil this afternoon. I showed a bit late, swimsuit on, and towel in hand. I was the only girl in a swimsuit; all the other girls, "didn't want to get wet" or "had just washed their hair."

I was the first person pushed in, of course. And I was still wearing my sarong.

But that's the story of my life.

I love crawfish. And I especially love sucking the heads. If you're not from Louisianna or the the South and don't understand what that means... we'll, I'm sorry for you. And that's the story of your life!

Sunday, May 09, 2004

The Penis Puppet

I forgot to mention in my weekend recap... if a funky video store clerk, who looks a bit like Howard Stern (OH OH OH, ran into Howard Stern @ The Library last night (for those of you not from here, that's a bar!)) tries to convince you to rent the movie Marquis de Sade, don't do it. The version the clerk told us we had to rent was strange: every character was an animal and Sade had a talking penis puppet!!!

What a disaster...

We like it... Irish Style

Friday involved an early happy hour with the gang (with the addition of Mr. Kansas City, who is back in town for a wild weekend). Happy hour= all of us getting tanked on mojitos. I lost count after four... After that, I couldn't let my buzz die, so off to Farouche's to drink my Vodka 7's. Started partying early and drank wayyy too much. Headed home, puked most the of the alcohol out to keep from getting a nasty hangover, but I got the hangover anyway. I was so passed out, that I don't remember talking to two people at 4 four AM on the phone. Oops.

At 9:30am the next morning, feeling like I wanted to DIE, my phone rings. I got a job in New York City!!! Am moving up there July 1st. Will be running a psychiatrist's whole 7-floor office. Yipee! My dad is pissed that I am moving off to "Yankee Land," my mother is thrilled because she can come see me. Y'all have any thoughts?

Lunch with the G-Unit and Kansas City: the greasy dim sum really helped my queasy stomach. Watched sexy movies with gals. I must say, I liked Y Tu Mama Tambien. But that movie explains PERFECTLY why I won't hook up with a high-schooler. Where I come from, sex that lasts 4 seconds, is considered an accident, NOT SEX!!!!!!!!

Saturday night, Red, Farouche & I hit the town. I was hit on by waaay too many guys and was in no mood to be nice to any of them. Ended up at Fado, where some cute boy with an accent grabbed my arm and asked me to meet his friends. There were fifteen Irish guys all for us. The free drinks started flowing. The bar closed, we invited the cute ones back to Farouche's apartment. Only ONE of the cute ones showed up. The other two were weird and ugly. They drank and were funny. We started talking about scandalous sex stories... and I had a few... Around 4, I try to get the boys to leave. At 4:30, I stand up and TELL them GO. I call a cab. I walk them to the door, and one of the ugly ones, I believe I called him a "Fat Irish Fuck" comes back in the door, winks at me and says, "You and me. Later?" "Uhhh. No. Go" and I closed the door. Two minutes later, the cute one calls, "Hey, wanna have a drink with me at our hotel?" "NO! I already told you: in Texas, they quit serving alcohol at two. It is now 4:30." "Weeeellll, I thought I'd ask. Shot in the dark. Had to try." God, when guys get drunk, the stupid shit they do...

The girls & I went for early morning snacks at Taco Cabana. Yum! Went to bed at 5:23 am.

We were supposed to have brunch with with Irish boys. They never called. Haha. It's better that way.

Friday, May 07, 2004


It's 7:16 and I'm already drunk. Wwaaaay drunk. Mojitos, baby!

Where did the day go...

Yesterday, met up with a friend for a beer at 3:40, got home at 1:40am. Hmmm...

This girl, Luna, & I were inseperable last spring. The two of us together = very rowdy. One time, we ripped a stranger's shirt off. Now, her & her boyfriend bought a house in suburbia. And they got a dog. And she never goes out anymore. And I never see her. So we hung out all day reminiscing over old times...

...and before I knew it, it was past 1 o'clock.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Why do things have to change?

I understand Seinfeld now. I posted below how on Sunday my neighbors & I bonded over the hookah & booze. And now it's ruined my apartment life. I've been friends with my neighbor D since the beginning. I rarely see him, but when I do, he says hi, I say hi. We shoot the shit. I walk away. Now that I'm friends with more of my neighbors they say hi to me ALL THE TIME and I have to say hi back. Grr. I can no longer turn my eyes away & ignore them. Dammit. Just now, one of my neighbos poked her head into my open window to ask me something. WTF? Thank god I'm leaving here in a month. I need to move somewhere new and be sure to stay away from my neighbors. No friends. Very un-Texan of me, and I apologize. I just don't want people bothering me all the time!

Also, I have had a cute crush one of the boys in my kali class. Cute Asian boy, built like a hoss. Have been watching him train for his kickboxing tournament coming up this weekend. By "watching" I mean "drooling over his shirtless body." Well, today I was talking to him and he was talkng about getting a scholarship to UVA and he was leaving in the fall. Blah, blah, blah [all I focus on is his shirtless chest]. I assume that he was going to grad school or law school at UVA. Was I ever wrong. He is still in high school and is going to UVA for undergrad. OOPS!

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

I call Kat and tell her my sad news. No fun play time with boy because he really is a BOY! And I don't play around with highschoolers. Did that once (he was legal folks!) and all I can say is, "ouch!" Kathleen then advises me to go ahead and hook up with him because it would, "make good Blog material." Since WHEN have I done anything that desperate just to write it in my blog????? What has the world come to?

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Smokin' the Hookah

While I'd like to tell you that "smokin' the hookah" is some perverted way of mine of calling fellatio... alas, it is not. Sunday afternoon I had one of the best Sundays in a while... my neighbor, I recently found out, owns a hookah. So we sat outside on Sunday--all day-- and smoked it. And drank three bottles of wine. And two cases of beer. And ordered pizza. We were sitting in our apt complex patio so our other neighbors joined us for the impromptu party. We smoked, drank, shot the shit... then the bird shit started falling. I think I was shat on thrice. Oh well, in Italy they say it brings good luck, so I guess I need to buy that lottery ticket now. When the everyone started getting shit on by the birds, and the sun set, we headed indoors.

Now, to find some of that other definition of "smokin' the hookah"...

Monday, May 03, 2004


1- I took that stupid sex quiz again (it's too funny and amusing and it's 2 am and I can't sleep) and this time I got... drumroll, please... GENGHIS KHUNT. The profile is TOO FUNNY so check it out here. The profile starts off like this: We almost called you Brutus the Uterus and attached this picture...

2- That jar of Nutella that I stole at a party last night... I finished it this morning.

3- I use my honors cords as a means to reach my fan high above my bed. Today, the cords got tangled the fan and I lost a tassle. Looks like, once again, I'll be the "original" one at graduation. Always have to stand out, even when it's an accident...

4- Post more tomorrow...

Sunday, May 02, 2004

OOPS!!! I did it again...

Weekend Update: Thursday, pretty uneventful (other than that booty call I already posted). Hung out with Joe, who played rugby with the US 7's Team in Hong Kong & Singapore. He brought me back a tshirt from the Hong Kong 7's tourney, which I thought was quite sweet. Went to a movie (with Farouche) at Alamo- I ate lots of ice cream, yum! Afterwards, the three of us hung out and shot the shit for hours. It's been a long since I've hung out with Joe, and it was nice to catch up with him. He's really one of the most wonderful guys I know-- and too bad I'm not attracted to him. OOPS, oh well.

Friday- work sucks. But I bought a new belt and earrings [this belt comes into play later]. Went out with Red & Thailand (read her blog here). So glad she's back in town. We went to Carlos N' Charlie's on the lake. Drank 'Ritas, watched Breakfeast @ Tiffany's playing on the lakeside shore on a big screen. Movie was over early enough to go downtown (for more drinking) so I convinced the girls go to out. Looking for a quite spot, we head to Fado. Night was fun, we people watched. Drank Strongbows. Chill.

Saturday day, I stayed in bed ALLLLLLLL day. Read a couple of books, cook lunch. I figured since I had my thesis bound a week early, I deserved a lazy day.

Last night, went out with Red & her Roommate. The ladies were lookin' smokin' and strangely enough I didn't even have an inch of skin showing. T-shirt covered chest up to neck; skirt down to knees. Haha. That must have been an accident. OOPS!!! But it didn't stop the scary guys from hitting on me. Mmmm... must ponder that at a future date. Downtown was packed and everywhere had lines, so we headed to Acquarium where I cut in line, of course. I even get my drinks there 3 for the price of 1. Things that like happen when your friend made out with the bouncer once and you've made out with bartender once. OOPS!!! Oh well. At last I get good service now.

Lots of drinks follow us going to Spill to shake it like a salt shaker on the dance floor (drinks in hand). Found out that my buddy has started working there again. So, I exchanged kisses for drinks. I love that transaction.

I bought a belt on Friday. Still remember that? It's a thin, leather belt, that wraps around me twice or thrice, depending. Last night, while dancing feverishly to an Usher song, I thought it would be a good idea to take it off and whip it around my head like a lasso.Yeah... that didn't work so well. I hit some guy in the forehead with it. OOPS!!! I turned around and acted as if I had done NOTHING... but he probably figured it out as he saw me wrapping my long-ass belt back around my waist. OOPS!!!

Hung out in Spill way past closing time, got to see Mr.Mustang & his crew, and that 19 yr old I kissed (errr.... hard core made out with one night--OOPS!!!) whom I haven't seen in 8 weeks.

After the bars close, we headed to a house party thrown by an acquiantence of mine. Ran into some good friends of mine (who are TOO OLD to be going to that type of party) and chatted with them. Stole a jar of Nutella and ate half of it when I got home at 4AM. OOPS!!!

Saturday, May 01, 2004

Blogs of Note

Two new blogs I've added to my list:

Lujing She-Ra. That's my friend Jesse's blog (aka, Lujing- her Chinese name). Really cool chick that I met through an academic advisor when I returned from China because she was considering going. After two years, she finally is going. So check out her blog, especially this summer since she'll chronicle her time in Yunnan province. She's taking a traditional Chinese medicine course in the jungle. Wow!

Then, there's Come Sail Away, a lost soul who wandered upon my blog my mistake (and I bet he regrets it ever since). His blog is interesting: the life of a mariner. I'd like more detials about what he does, but he's secretive, and if he told me, I'm sure he'd search me down and kill me. But Cap, if you can give any more details, I'd love to have 'em. It's an interesting read. And Cap is super-cool (he loves Dire Straights!!).

I've added their links to my list of blogs at the bottom of my page, so you don't have to find this blog entry from now on to link to them.


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