Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Christmas Gift

Via Im

F's Friend: So F, did you get your Puertorican sex slave for Christmas?
F: No, all I got was a sore ass.
Friend: From the sex slave? Yum-my.
F: No, from a horse.
Friend:Holy shit, I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff?!?
F: I got a sore ass from riding a horse, you dipshit. You know, cowboots, jeans, a saddle?
Friend: Yeah, I figured you'd like it real.
F, too exasperated to continue the conversation.

On a brighter note, am heading off to New Mexico tomorrow for New Year's weekend. Yay! There are 6 of us going, and I am so excited I can hardly wait. Everyone knows what kind of trouble I get into when I'm up there. So this time, I'll stay away from the booze & mountain men. But every time I say that I come home a little more violated.

Also, Puerto Rico is still on, Jan 14.

Then to Rome for a week on Jan 25.

January is going to rock.

Saturday, December 25, 2004

The Votes Are IN

Ok, so I really didn't quite *tally* the votes, so I'll write about the ones that people generally expressed and intrest in. Also, it's Christmas morning, we opened gifts last night. I'm bored since my dad and brother are out feeding the cattle and the rest of my family is asleep, so I'll go ahead and blog.

#1. In Miami, crashing a local Emmy party and my boss tried to steal me a statue. The title pretty much explains it. In Miami, my boss & I crashed an Emmy party and he tried to steal me a statue, much to the dismay of the winners.

#2. Getting into a car wreck in Puerto Rico. I got into a 6 car pile-up in Puerto Rico. I was car #4. The first car slammed on his brakes so we all hit him. Good thing I bought the insurance from the rentacar, so I just laughed.

#3. Going to Rincon for the weekend and staying with strangers, not in a hotel. I went to Rincon (http://www.rincon.org) and stayed with people I had just met... at the bar. Isn't that what they say about alcoholics? That they are all best friends in the bar?

#4. Hiking around naked in El Yunque, the rainforest. We were in the rainforest, and it was raining so I took my clothes off to keep them dry so I put them in a plastic bag in my backpack. They were reasonably dry by the time we got back to the car.

#5. Getting all the brilliant young doctors drunk in San Juan (so drunk, one of the Harvard Grads stole some poor cripple's crutches). Self-explanatory.

#6. Details about the hundreds of gorgeous surfers in Rincon. There are just too many of them to even begin to tell about them.

#7. The nickname the local Boriqua boys gave me, "Blanquita." What can I say? I'm just whiter than the Puertoricans... by a LOT.

#8. Making out with Puerto Rican Boy (we'll call him Doc) by the sea, in his jeep, by the pool, in someone's shower (not his, and not mine).

#9. The sperm in the eye incident many of you already know about. There are only a couple of ways that this can happen. Use your imagination. I laughed and laughed and the poor boy had no clue. I just texted all my friends and them laughing, too.

#10. Having another boy tell me he's in love with me and that he's going to come visit me in NYC... my reaction to this news... that's a whole other deal. He told me he wants to come see me in nyc, and that even if he's in new york for one month and he sees me for one day, the whole trip would be worth it. Aww... I just got into my car and hope that the Doc doesn't tell him about #8 & #9.

#11. Being in lust with a 20-year old Chilean surfer. So hot. But we know what happens with F hooks up with little boys. Yeah, what happens is disaster. That's why I only danced with him and stayed away.

#12. Being put to shame by guys who dance better than I do. Nothing to say about this.

#13. Getting caught not wearing any underwear the whole weekend. I was at the beach. Wearing sundresses. Underwear were superfluous.

I'm off to eat some breakfast. Merry Christmas

Monday, December 20, 2004

Let's Vote

So many things have happened to me in the past 10 days that if I were to blog them all, this entry would be very, very, very long, and therefore, no one would read it. So what I'm going to do is post short tid bit of many random things and you, fellow bloggers, will vote and I'll go into more detail about the top 3 or 4 things that win the vote.


#1. In Miami, crashing a local Emmy party and my boss tried to steal me a statue.

#2. Getting into a car wreck in Puerto Rico.

#3. Going to Rincon for the weekend and staying with strangers, not in a hotel.

#4. Hiking around naked in El Yunque, the rainforest.

#5. Getting all the brilliant young doctors drunk in San Juan (so drunk, one of the Harvard Grads stole some poor cripple's crutches).

#6. Details about the hundreds of gorgeous surfers in Rincon.

#7. The nickname the local Boriqua boys gave me, "Blanquita."

#8. Making out with Puerto Rican Boy (we'll call him Doc) by the sea, in his jeep, by the pool, in someone's shower (not his, and not mine).

#9. The sperm in the eye incident many of you already know about.

#10. Having another boy tell me he's in love with me and that he's going to come visit me in NYC... my reaction to this news... that's a whole other deal.

#11. Being in lust with a 20-year old Chilean surfer. So hot. But we know what happens with F hooks up with little boys.

#12. Being put to shame by guys who dance better than I do.

#13. Getting caught not wearing any underwear the whole weekend.

#14. The things I say and do when I start drinking at 12noon... wearing a swimsuit.

Ok, I've gotta get back to work.


And everyone, don't forget about the 2nd trip to Puerto Rico in February! Yay!

Friday, December 10, 2004

Guilt

My mom is in the hospital with a crushed leg-- knee is crushed, as well as leg and ankle... and here I am leaving for a trip to the beach for 10 days. I feel pretty shitty about it.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Beaches, Drinks, & Warm Weather

Friends, Bloggers, & Stalkers, I just wanted to let you know that I will MIA this coming week. Here is my schedule, so that you can be green with envy (and not worry that I've been killed by an oncoming cab here in nyc since I haven't blogged in over a week):

Friday 10th-- Miami.

Sunday 12th-- from Miami directly to Puerto Rico for the ACNP (= American College of Neuropsychopharmacology).

Sunday 18th-- back in NYC.

Thursday 23rd-- TX for Xmas.

Monday 27th-- back in NYC.

Thursday 30th-- Rocky Mountains for NYE with amazing gal pals.

Jan 3rd -- back in NYC.

From there, who knows?

Monday, December 06, 2004

Miami- basking in the sun

Aaahhhh, Miami. Sun, sand, beaches. Fucking cold, rainy, and soon to be snowy, New York.

Left NYC in a limo. Passed out the whole flight to Miami, got off the plane and I welcomed the heat with open arms. Stayed at sweet hotel (where the balcony scene in The Bodyguard was filmed). Poolside afternoon, limo at night to take me party. Expense account for my booze.

On Sunday, I was supposed to attend meetings all day. Instead, what I did was pull a Michael J. Fox from the movie "The Secret of My Success" : meeting at 8am until 10:30, at which point I ran to the pool changed into swimsuit, then drank a large number of pina coladas, then ran back to my room, changed and went back to the meeting for lunch at noon, then back to the pool at 1pm, went for a swim, had another drink and got an urgent call from my boss, "Hurry, the last meeting has started early." So I had to put my suit on top of my swimsuit, which was still wet. I had to sit for two hours with a wet swimsuit and when I got up to leave the meeting, my butt was wet and I had left a wet butt-imprint on the chair. Oh well.

Limo to party on South Beach. Back to the hotel lobby late at night with my drunk boss, who decided to disco dance to Ace of Base. I just cringed and ordered another mojito. A good mojito will make you temporarily forget that your 80-year old boss is groovin' to bad European techno.

The one time I felt a bit like Keg this weekend was when, after drinks by the pool, I was walking back to my room and decided that I should do some physical therapy for my knee. I went to the gym, sat on the stationary bike and started peddling. I was getting strange looks from the people who passed by the gym (it was surrounded on three sides by see-through glass) and from the people who worked there. It took me a minute to figure out that I was being stared at, not because I looked damned hot (well, I was hot), but because I held an alcoholic drink in each hand, and was wearing a cocktail dress and heels.

And the beauty of this weekend is that it gets to be repeated next weekend, followed immediately by a week in Puerto Rico.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

*Blushing*

I am proud of being a Texan, and while I don't bleed burnt orange, I feel honored to have attended the University of Texas, but things like this make me rethink all that. Damn Tommy Lee, damn him. (Oh, and thanks to Wings for the link).


And on a better note, here's props to my Italian ancestors.

Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com