Wednesday, March 23, 2005

F & Co. Do Austin

This past weekend, I headed to Austin to party with my old college friends. Between drinking, hottubbing, flirting, eating, shopping, dancing,listening to awesome SXSW music, and being pulled over for drunken driving, we managed to get lots of quality time together.

I headed into Austin on Thursday. After a nice 8 hour drive from Buttholeville where my dad is placed now, I got to Austin and killed time till Farouche got off work. We went out Thursday night for St. Patty's: first, I managed to beat Farouche in Beer Pong (I am the champion!) then we laughed as we inspected the charred wounds of some dude who lit himself on fire (he's a champ, too). We partied it up downtown the rest of the night, mostly gawking at the South by Southwest crowd, clad in their crappy tshirts and Birkenstocks.

Friday we were joined by the rest of the crowd. Lindz from Dallas and Keg from Houston. We started drinking 'ritas and finished the night by making fun of men who delt in "international commodities." Saturday we once again started drinking early, this time at Hula Hut with thier killer Mai Tai's. After drinking downtown, I got pulled over for rolling through a stop sign and *amazingly* I managed to pass the sobriety test, but only after being a smart ass to the cop. "Have you been ddrinking?" "Yes." "How much have you had" ... I wanted to ask, since when? but I only said "Two." "Do you have any head injuries?" "No" "What about leg injuries, old or new?" "Oh, yes. I do. Wanna see my knee surgery scar?" And I proceed to pull up my pant leg. "Ma'am, do you know where you are?" "Yes, on UT Campus." "Can you be more specific?" "Uhh, no. I don't know what street I'm on. I never knew the names of streets... Why should I??" Since I didn't get thrown in jail, I considered the night to be a success and proceeded to invite people over to Farouche's house to go hottubbing.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

California Love

Sorry it has taken so long to blog, but internet connection has been hard to come by for me. But now I am wired once again, ready to stay on top of things.

While waiting on the San Diego airport curb for my ride, a woman pulled over and said, "I don't mean to offend you, but... you have really beautiful breasts. I mean, it's obvious you're not wearing a bra... and well, you look great, and I admire your courage for going with out one...."

In San Diego we surfed with wet suits, cause the water was cooold (I don't think I've ever looked as unattractive as I did in that wetsuit). Drove to LA. partied in random clubs. Laughed at all the LA people. I was proposed to on Rodeo Drive by the owner of some store. He said I had good "birthing hips and would give [him] lots of children." Uhhh, suuure.

Since my friend "Paris" works at the Filmore and Warfield Theaters I went to work with her one night, got to see an O.A.R. concert. It was so bad, I fell asleep. The band's drummer was hitting on Paris; she blew him off not knowing who he was. Oh, well. He wasn't that good anyway.

Spent a day touring... er... drinking through Napa & Sonoma Valleys. We stole oranges from Francis Ford Coppola's vinyard. We drank waaaay too much and tried to navigate the small roads. Got horribly lost, but we didn't care since we stumbled upon another winery.

On the "famous" Haight street, I decided I wanted to visit the Anarchy Bookstore, but I had ice cream. I figured the Anarchists wouldn't care. I was wrong. As soon as I walked into the store, I was asked to eat my ice cream outside. I fired back, "What?! Is there a RULE against ice cream in the ANARCHY bookstore?! What a crock!" Needless to say, they let me keep the ice cream.

Oh, andI visited a boy I met in Puerto Rico. He had a huge house in the hills worth more than I will ever make in a life time.

Back in Texas, folks.

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