Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Bathroom Break

It has been three nights now that I had to pee so bad that I couldn't make it in the house... so I peed in the parking lot. Some funky trees are going to start sprouting soon.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

And Now I Can Say, "I was THERE"

This is an email that I sent out to family and friends yesterday. I wanted to share it with y'all of the blog world:


Hello all, I have just returned from a harrowing couple of hours in the Vatican. As everyone must know, the new Pope has been elected. I am not Catholic, but it has been an exciting time for me to be here in Rome.

Cristina and I have been following the smoke from the chimney, and this afternoon as soon as we saw white smoke on the news (we went down to the Vatican at in time to catch the noon smoke-- black), we dashed down to the Vatican on our scooter. After a harrowing scooter ride, dodging in & out of traffic, avoiding road blocks, cutting off other cars, and going down the wrong way on one-way streets, we finally got to my brother's apartment at Borgo Angelico, a street three blocks away from St. Peter's Basilica (one of the best locations ever). My brother, his daughter, Cristina & I heard the roar of the crowd -- a roar like none I'd ever heard before, not at rock concerts nor at the Soccer World Cup Final. People around us were running, so we followed suit.

We reached St. Peter's colonnade as the first of the Cardinals, dressed in stunning red, starting coming out on the Basilica's balconies. We tried getting into St. Peter's Square, but it was all blocked off because it was filled to maximum capacity... but we weren't going to miss this! Brother jumped over the cavalcade, we handed his daugher to him, then Cristina & I jumped over as well.

The crowd was so dense that we could not see anything so we had to push & shove our way up to the front of the crowd (I think I elbowed one nun, three priests, two small children, one dog, four old people, one person in a wheelchair, and about 251 other random people). We watched, and it was magnificent (not that Ratzinger was elected, but just being there). I clapped. I cheered. But no I did not cry, but I was still moved. Even though I went to the Vatican to see the pilgrims in line to see the Pope's body, and even though I'd been down to see the black smoke, and even though I've been to the Vatican on more occasions that I can count, nothing compared to this.

I hope everyone is well and I send all of you some of my holiness that I acquired from being at the Urbi et Orbi speech (to the City and World) today.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Can You Repeat That... When You're SOBER?

A few weeks ago, after a night of getting hammered out on the town, I sent this email to this person, who decided that now that I am sober (at least, he thinks I am sober) that I should read it:

hey. i am drunk. ijust got home from a bup- or a pub. am drinking schampamgen. champagne. i dont know why i am typing in italics. mmmm.... am runnign arond on the scooter all day. fun fyn. mom is still on one crutch but better. i will wtte more when i am sober, somwhate.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Note to Self

Do not go to pub and invite three boys you like, even if you think only 33% of the boys will show up, because according to Murphy's law, they will all show up, making your night hell, and causing you to get drunk and dance on a bar stool (hey, there weren't any empty tables around!)

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Max, the Not so Ex, Ex

My biggest ex ever, Max, whom Keg & Ploya have met, and whom Thailand has heard about since high school, spent all last night trying to convince me to sleep with him. Cristina & I went out to dinner with one of his friends, and the whole dinner long (three hour long dinner-- Italian style) he sat across from me thinking up reasons on why we should hook up again.

I lost my appetite.

And got mad at him.

As I got into my car, he pulled over on his motorcyle and said, "F, sei bellissima quando sei arrabbiata." (Which for you ignorant people means, F, you're gorgeous when you're mad).

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Rain, or Not to Rain

Cristina & I got dolled up to go shopping in the chic Via del Corso in Rome, we walked around all of 14.5 minutes when an enormous black cloud covered the sky above us. Since we were on our moterscooter (of which MeZack& Keghave great experience) we decided to immediately head home so we could avoid the rain. Two and a half minutes into the trip home the rain came pouring down. At a certain point, the rain and the wind was so strong we were worried that we were going to be pushed over.

That's it. Fun blog, huh?

Monday, April 11, 2005

Rome, at last

Cristina (who has moved with me to Rome) & I got to Rome last Wednesday evening. Thursday morning, we went over to the Vatican to check out the scene. We walked around & talked to people, but mainly we ogled all the various guards in the plethora of uniforms. We stoode in line with the pilgrims to see the Pope's body, but bailed out after 10 minutes. We just wanted to see what was going on. I sweet-talked one of the guards who let us hang out on the side lines of the line, where the press and volunteers were. My contacts in the Vatican (the colorful Swiss Guards) told me they could get me into St. Peter's to see the Pope's body, but Kristen & I decided instead to flee the chaos of Rome and head to the country with my mom.

This is such an exciting time to be in Rome: the conclave stars soon and I'll be following it with vivid interest.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Home, Home on the Range

I've gotten a couple of angry emails from my friends, chastising me for not updating my blog. Let's see what has happened to me in the past two-three weeks:

- I have driven almost 3000 miles. Up Texas, down Texas, across Texas. And with cost of gas, it's cost me a fortune, but seeing my friends has been well worth it.

- I have helped my dad work cattle. Example:
Dad, "Honey, see if that calf has been castrated yet."
Me, "See? See how?"
Dad, "Put your hand down there and feel."
Me, "Feel?"
Dad, "Yes, feel. Come on, quit wasting our time. Just do it." (Dad by now is laughing like a mad man).
Me, "Feel where? Feel what?"
Dad by now can't breath because he's laughing so hard. So he just sticks his hand down between the calf's legs. But he had on gloves.

- I spent lots of time playing with animals. I have taught some of the skittsh cows to trust me and to eat of my hand. (My dad raises his cattle to be "stress free" so they are like big pets). I rode horses. I played with the new kids (aka, baby goats), and had a conversation with my dad as follows:
Me, "Dad, I think your baby goats are drunk. They are swerving all over the place."
Dad, exasperated, "Honey, they were born less than two days ago. They are just having trouble with their balance..."
Me, "Duh! Because they are druuuunk."
Dad rolls eyes and walks off.

- My dad takes me into town for lunch. 19 miles ONE way. In "town" there are two restaurants. A Mexican one and the Main Street Cafe. The cafe, where we go most often, is run by a group of very special people. For lunch there is a buffet, and the choices are, Chicken Fried Steak, Chicken & Dumplings, & Fried Catfish. Yum! One day, when I ordered a salad, I asked if they had any olive oil. In response, I got a blank stare and a "What's that?" "Uuuhh, it's an oil. Like for a vinigairette..." ...blank stare.... "Forget it. I'll just take ranch!"

- I've been so bored out here, that I've been buying stuff like mad on the internet. The UPS guy knows me and whenever he sees my dad's truck in town, he tracks us down and gives me my packages there so he won't have to drive the 40 miles roundtrip to our house. Some of the things I have bought: books about Croatia (planning a road trip there this summer), Reefs that have a church key built into the bottom of them. I LOVE them. (If you want y our own pair, which I highly recommend, go to reef.com and click on "The Fanning" - that's the name of the shoe).

- I've spent many a hour watching the Farm Channel on tv with dad learning about wonderfully interesting things, like 1) Did you know that cows can get Herpes? 2) Do you know what BVD is? And that it is curable (it's Bovine Viral Diarreah). 3) Did you know that if you inject yourself with an innoculation for cattle that you should rush and get some antibiotics?


There is so much fun to be had on the ranch. Fun, fun, fun.

I am off to Rome tomorrow. Hope everyone can come visit!

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