Sunday, May 29, 2005

Lingerie Party

Friday night I geared up for another party at my place. Lingerie parties are not a big thing in Italy, so it was VERY difficult to get everyone to come dressed in lingerie. We told them to come to our house in street clothes, change, take a shot, and then join the party.

I wore a black corset (of course) with black lace undies... with a whip over my shoulder. We decored the house with thongs and bras (We even put some on the ceiling fan and the front door). We put a bed outside on our patio, with silk sheets and fluffy pillows. No lights, just low candles. Everyone loved it. Before the night was over we had boys whipping out thier thongs they wore under their boxers!

Monday, May 23, 2005


Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I go to an early morning gym class (early being 9am) and every morning I yawn and stretch during class, so much that my teacher last Monday, during class, belted out, "F, why are you always so tired?"

"Well, I guess it's because I don't get much sleep"

Him, "What time did you get to bed last night?..."

Me, "Weeeell, last night was Sunday so I went to... Ah yes, around 4am. [shocked look from him]. Why what's wrong?"

Him, "I am going to start calling you at 10pm every night to make sure you get to bed."

So now, every single morning, he has to single me out (unkept hair, red eyes, socks that don't match, mascara smeared over my face) and ask me where I went the night before and how much I slept.

If I had wanted a third degree, I would have joined a military camp... but he *is* making me look hot, so I forgive him.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Gelato, Anyone?

Saturday night, 15 of my friends met up in Piazza delle Coppelle, a trendy square in Rome where chic Romans hang out under the stars -- drinks in hand, of course. After a couple of vodka-7's, I decided it was time to get a gelato.

Gelato in hand, I navigated around people and between cars to find my friends. I passed a busy street where the traffic was so bad the cars were still. As I walked by a car full of cute boys, the boy driving (his window was down) asked for a bite of my quickly-melting gelato. Much to his surprise, I got a big scoop of chocolate on my spoon and shoved into his mouth. His friends cheered and the driver couldn't hold his laugh back, dribbling ice cream on his chin.

Sometimes, all I need to amuse myself is me... and some ice cream, I guess...

Saturday, May 14, 2005

12 Hours Later...

Last night, after a raggae concert, drinks, and 3am croissants (I had four, one filled with creme, one with Nutella, one with with chocolate, and one with apples) with 4 of our boyfriends, the whole party moved to my house, where to took the infamous sex mattress out of the sex room, and put it on the living room floor. I fell asleep on the mattress somewhere around 6am, then I woke up around 7am with drool on my face. I got up, my friends were still all chatting away, and crawled into my own bad. After a couple of hours of sleep, I got up at 9am and went downstairs to find all my friends cuddles up and passed out on the mattress and couches.

I woke everyone up, we all cuddled, I fixed coffee, we called the rest of my boyfriends and woke them up. We napped, watched tv, made the boys listen to Willie Nelson, and snacked. I fixed lunch for the gang and by 4pm I kicked the boys out!

When I told my mom we had boys sleep over, she was shocked that no one got any... Oh, my... what a mother!

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Soccer, Anyone?

When our "boyfriends" heard that Cristina & I had never been to an Italian soccer game, they raced out and bought tickets for last nights' Roma-Udinese game. (I had been to a game before, in 3rd grade, but I didn't sit in the Curva Sud).

We got seats in the Curva Sud. You HAVE to check out the pictures here. This place was madness. "Curva Sud" is the South Curve of the Olympic Stadium in Rome, where all the hard core, die hard Roma soccer fans sit (or rather, stand). It's where the fights break out; where people are killed; where no closed bottles are allowed --not even plastic-- because they have been used as weapons; where there are no females in sight because it is just too dangerous. And yet, there we were. The guys kept us in the middle of them the whole time so we wouldn't knocked off our seats (you stand the whole game).

All around me, guys were rolling joints with hash, marijuana, and who knows what else. The guy behind me was doing lines. Just my scene!

The crowd never stopped singing or chanting, and I was so mesmerized by the smoke, the flags, the fans' hands moving in unison, that I hardly even noticed when we scored! SCOOOORE!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


Last night, went over to our "boyfriends'" office with a bottle of vodka and some sprite. Even though we wanted to go to bed early, we ended up getting home well past two. As we were munching and getting ready for bed, Cristina spied a HUGE spider. Terrified, we called Max the Ex (who lives next door). The conversation went as follows.

Me, "Max. Wake up. Get down here. There is a HUGE spider. pleeeease."
Him, "Are you drunk?"
Me, "NO. There really is a spider down here. I'm afraid that it will jump on us."
Him, "Spiders don't jump. Go to bed."
[This morning I got on Google and gave Max the Ex a long list of sites that soley discuss jumping spiders].

Since the huge spider was still there, we decided to call our boyfriends to come to our rescue. After much laughing at us and calling us silly names, they showed up, took care of the spider, had some drinks, and did not leave till past 4am. I STILL need sleep. And I still love my boyfriends.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005


What is it with guys wearing microfiber underwear? It is way too effeminate for me. The only good thing to come out of male microfiber undies is that I could steal them. But is that a good thing?

Monday, May 09, 2005

I Need Sleep

I have not gone to bed before dawn in over two weeks. I don't know how I keep going. I must have some Engergizers in me.

Last night, Sunday night, I thought Cristina & I finally would have a quiet night at home, but at 5pm our boys called us (these are the ones that have been keeping us out till dawn every night. They are a group of 12 guys, and we never know how many of them will show up to go out at any given night) and said they would come pick us up for an aperitivo. Cristina & I were still in our pj's so we took lighting-fast showers and got dolled up in record time. Only two boys showed up, which made us happy because we thought that with only two of them we would be home before 4 am... Not quite the case. We ended up at the chic Campo de Fiori for ice cream, then drinks (We had martinis, which tasted like Lemon Drops. MeZack, Keg & I need to get behind the bar & teach them a thing or two about vodka!!), and then they decided to take us out for dinner. We got home well after midnight, and the boys decided they wanted to watch a movie. I fell asleep in my chair, and woke up because I had drool down to my chest.

I love our group of 12 "boyfriends": not only do they always come pick us up, drop us off, and pay for everything, but they take us anywhere we want to go. If I want a hot chocolate and a croissant at 4:47am, they will take me an hour across Rome for one. Saturday night at 3am I had the crazy idea to drive to Florence. They were all for it, till I rained on their parade and said I was kidding. These guys are not only as crazy as I am, but they indulge me in any way possible. They are my new favorite boys. Yay!

Sunday, May 08, 2005

I Love Rome

Nights like Saturday night remind me how much I really, truly, deeply, madly love Rome.

A group of 10 headed to the trendy area of Trastevere (lots of tiny alleyways, piazzas, bars, pubs crammed in between old buildings and churches). We bought a couple of bottles of red wine (no cups needed) and spent the night wandering around the windy roads, ending up in Piazza Santa Maria in Trastevere (the oldest Church in Rome) playing soccer. The Piazza was full of people so we kept hitting strangers in the head with our soccer ball. We made loads of new friends who came to play with us. Music softly floated out of the chic wine bars. A chilly breeze tickled our necks. The night was clear, so lots of stars shone in the sky. My friends & I joked, gesticulated, laughed, conversed, flirted, hugged, kissed. 2000 year old buildings stood watch over us while we all drank from the same wine bottles.

Once again, we went to bed after the sun came up. I need sleep.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Waiting for Luca

Thursday night, after my Cinco de Mayo party, I went to bed around 5 am, then got up and went to the gym at 8 am. Needless to say, when Friday night rolled around, I was exhausted, but ready to party. The new group of boys we've been hanging with do not let us go to sleep till the sun comes up. They are so much fun because they are always up for anything, and because they take good care of us (aka, they come pick us up, and take us anywhere we want). So Friday night we went over to their office (two of my buddies own their own computer consulting company, and they employ 10 of their buddies) and ordered pizzas. From there, we went over to another guy's house and did Absinthe shots, then we went to a pub, and I only had two sips from my beer when I was informed we were leaving to go to a club called La Mucca Assassina (The Killer Cow). Clearly I took my beer with me in the car. At La Mucca Assassina we waited in line only to be told that it was gay night and they don't even let straight people in. After standing around waiting for a dude called Luca, we headed to Testaccio, to the other side of town, to hang out at a reggae concert. Cristina & I were dolled up in stiletto heels and hot outfits only to hang out with 500 stoned people dressed in rags. The boys bought us a couple of bottles of wine and we just drank directly out of them. Who needs cups?

After the reggae concert, we went back to the other side of Rome to have a croissant and a cappuccino. It made my night. After the 4 am snack, the whole group of 10 headed back to my place, got an extra mattress out of the sex room, put it on the floor of the living room so we could all pile on it and watch a movie. I went to bed with the sun slowly rising in the sky and the birds chirping all around us.

We hung out with these guys from 9pm to 6am and I all got to drink was one pint of beer and half a bottle of red wine. What a downer. The boys promised they would make up for it tonight... We will see...

Friday, May 06, 2005

Viva Cinco de Mayo!

The Cinco de Mayo party was a success! We had 30 people show up for dinner (and they all stayed well past 2am). Watching the Italians figure out how to eat tacos and fajitas was priceless. We had to have lessons every 25 minutes when a new group of people came to the buffet table. (The menu was: Beef &or Chicken tacos and fajitas, quesadillas, Mexican bean medley, Mexican rice, guacamole, salsa, queso, etc etc). The pinata Cristina made was a complete hit! Everyone stood in line to take a whack at it, and the candy & condoms inside disappeared in 3 seconds.

But the fun part of the night happened well after the guests left... One boy stayed late to help me "clean up." I don't think we got much cleaning done, but I sure felt better afterwards. And for those of you wondering which lucky fellow got to clean house with me, well, it was the Ex, aka, the neighbour. I thought I wouldn't go there again, but I did, and I still don't know why I do cause it's always, invariably mediocre. My home in Rome is a three-story townhouse. On the ground floor we have the kitchen, dining room, living room, and an extra bedroom that is used for storage. 99% of my friends have hooked up in that extra bedroom, but now it is so full of the stuff that the bed is shoved vertically against the wall. I cleaned the room and pulled the bed down for the party. While I was "cleaning up the house after the party" I somehow lost an earring on the bed, so I went ahead and took the other one off as well so I wouldn't loose it. I forgot those earring there and my mom called me this morning and said, "I found your earrings on the downstairs bed. Funny I thought that bed was out of commission." And I didn't get my earrings back till I told her why they were down there. I made up some bullshit story she didn't believe (my mom wouldn't care if I had sex, she just wants the details, which I do NOT want to dish out, so I just lie).

Anyways, Viva Cinco de Mayo!!!

Monday, May 02, 2005

Am I Allowed to Recycle?

My number one rule in relationships is (write this down for reference) DO NOT RECYCLE. Ever. That means once you and your partner have broken off, call if off for GOOD. You will never change; your partner won't either. You broke it off for a reason, and that reason is always gonna be there...

So, now that I wrote all that paragraph, I realized that my story doesn't really have anything to do with it. Dammit.

Anyways, a couple of nights ago, and old friend & I went out (have known him since the eighth grade) and he showed up with a group of boys in a hot car. One of the boys turned out to be a guy that was in my class when I was in ninth grade (I was still in high school here in Rome at the time- and the way the system here works is that you have one homeroom class with all the same students and the teachers change classes every hour, not the students. So basically this boy & I spent a lot time together every day). When I saw High School Boy he was decked out in a stylish suit and lookin' good. After a few nights of hanging out, he told me that in the ninth grade he had hit on me, but that I had brutally shot him down. I don't remember any of this, but it sounds like me.

The whole point of this blog entry is to say that now I think he's cute and that I'd totally hook up with him now... Is it allowed? And will he shoot me down now that he can?

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Cinco de Mayo Party

There have been lots of reasons to party lately in Rome (Rome's 2758th Birthday -- which coincides with Lindz' bday, Liberation Day, labor Day, etc), but Cinco de Mayo seemed like the best choice for Cristina & I to throw a party (dinner & drinks).

Invitation List:
28 Boys (27 said they would show up)
7 girls.

Grocery List:
4 Bottles of Tequila
Lots and lots and lots of Mexican beer
Maybe some chicken and rice and stuff to make food, if we even find any Mexican ingredients in Rome.
Is anything else needed? As long as the booze is covered, who cares if the food is a crappy Italian-Mexican mix?

For fun doing the party:
My amazing Latin American playlist from my laptop will be hooked up to the stereo.
Oh, and... We made a pinata (I don't know how to put the tilde on the n) from scratch... It's of a hermaphrodite. She has big boobs and a penis. She\he will be stuffed with flavored and colored condoms and some candy; we might not even bother with the latter.

!Viva Cinco de Mayo!

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