Sunday, January 29, 2006

Quote

Ahh, RyRy, this is why I love you: " For a few dollars and a medalla (a cheap Puertorican beer), you can bring a goat into my room. Shame and pride are only separated by a few beers and a bet."

That and because last year in PR you bought me rainbow-colored popcorn and a little piano.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Back to the Trenches

When I decided to move back to Rome, I promised myself that I would NEVER be here for a winter. I don't like Rome in the winter. And yet, here I am, back in Rome... in the 30 degree weather. I feel like such a whiney baby, but it sucks.

I am here because I am taking an indepth course on Roman art and history so I can pass the damn guiding exam so I can work legally as a tour guide.

Today, at 7am, I spent 3 hours at the damn Etruscan museum. All I have to say is that I am glad the Etruscans are dead, cause if not, I'd go around and kill them all myself. One by one. By one. assholes.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Houston, Part II

I must admit that I was pleasantly suprised by Houston (and by 'pleasantly surprised,' I mean shocked and amazed). I really enjoyed the city! The singles scene was a blast. Even though we had just returned from Puerto Rico (and my gals and I were exhausted) we decided to go out to Sherlocks for their live band. When we got there, the place was empty, but that didn't stop Keg, our new friend Actress, and I from hitting the dance floor. And hit it we did. We did just about every silly move in the book: the running man, the shopping cart, the robot, the fisherman, etc. And we laughed at ourselves and with each other like crazy ladies. The band loved us, and played ONLY songs that we requested. We were having so much fun, that all the crowd loved us too: we scored 3937 shots and about 3920000 drinks. They just kept showing up, and the guys kept saying, "You ladies look like you are having so much fun. Take this and keep dancing!"


Houston flabbergasted me.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Puerto Rico Vol. II

I have been flooded with requests with more PR details, so here goes (this must be brief because I am going to the airport in 1.1 hours and have yet to finish packing or showering):

- Yes, Shasha and I really did topless cheerleading. But we did it for Tom, and we will only do it for Tom, so don't ask.

- Yes, a damn parrot shat on my... twice. I am hard-headed. At least I didn't step into it like Shasha did.

- Yes, we drank massive quantaties of alcohol which include, but are not limited to: 4 handles of Don Q rum, 4 more 2 liter bottles of Don Q rum, 3 bottles of Cap Morgan, 1 bottle of vodka, 1 bottle of gin, 10 cases of beer, 100 jelloshots, PLUS all the acohol we bought at the various bars and restaurants, and what we drank at other people's houses.

- Yes, Shasha got a boy to sing 'I'm a little teapot' buck-ass nekkid. We were playing King's Cup and he got Truth or Dare. No need to spell out which one picked. He even grabbed his member when he sang, "Here is my spout." I love it when boys do what we want them to.

- Yes, we turned our picknick table into a dance stage. Next year, we are installing surround-sound, strobe lights, and a stripper pole.

- Yes, when we walked into a bar, the whole crowd started cheering, "GOD BLESS TEXAS!" We were that popular. Hmmm, I wonder why?

- Yes, when the lights went out in the whole town and the bars had to shut down, we had a huge party at our place. Who needs lights? We had 2 candles, that was enough. Plus the moonlight.

- Yes, on Saturday with the full moon our whole house went around howling at the mood like a pack of wild animals.

- And Yes, we do love Tom this much.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Emails

I love when I get emails such as these:

"You're currently standing over my shoulder. We taste just like candy.
Shasha has the pube one.
I adore you.
YOU BETTER FUCKING EMAIL ME!!!
Love,
L."

Does anything else need to be said at all?

Our Puertorican SexSlave

This is how much we love Tom.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Notch on my bedpost

There are so many stories and anecdotes about the second half of our Puerto Rico trip (like how Shasha and I did topless chearleeding or how a parrot shit on me twice) to go into too many details. The one I want everyone knowing is that I bagged a Guess model.

'Nuff said.

If you want to see any pictures, Keg has posted some here.

And Keg posted some more pictures here.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

PUERTO RICO, baby!

There is too much going on in our party house (with 5 hot ladies and one boy) to give too many details, but here are some of the highlights:

-We pulled an all-nighter our first night. We got to our house around 10pm. We started drinking and dancing, then we had to go pick up Keg at an airport 2 hours away. Her flight got in at 4:45am. On the way back to the beach house we stopped at Sam's and bought the following:
-2 handles of rum
-2 bottles of vodka
-50 coronas
-100 cokes
-stuff to make 100 jello shots
... and ALL OF IT WAS GONE 12 HOURS LATER. That was supposed to be our budget of alcohol for the WEEK, but it lasted it us one day!

-Keg and I kidnapped a boy, put him in the back seat of our car, told him to blindfold himself. We stole his cell phone, drove around the town, then dropped him off at a remote location. We went back to get him, kidnapped his friend as well. Keg wrote her number and other funny unmentionable things on his shirt, then we took the two boys back to our house as a souvenier for the rest of the girls!

- Every night 2 or more of the girls skinny dip. Our SexSlave stands on the beach, holds our clothes (we don't like sand on them), towels, and lotion. Oh, then I take naked out door showers (the UPS guy sure loves me... I think he has to deliver a ...package... hehe).

- Last night Keg and I got on the bar and started dancing when the band played ACDC (how can you NOT dance on the bar when ACDC is on??). When we got up there, the crowd went WILD, so much so that Farouche, who was three door away at home, heard the crowd roar. Guys had 20$ bills in the air! The cops came and told us to get down, or ELSE. so I started dancing on a plastic chair. It broke and I fell straight through it. Oops. I cut a big chunk of my ankle off. We are having problems with plastic furniture. The other day Keg broke a plastic stool while eating spaghetti. The pasta fell into her lap, while her legs were around here ears. She just got a fork and kept on eating away.

- I kissed a Pentecostal Boy. I told him I thought Pentecostals were crazy. He's not talking to me any more.

- A boy told Keg that he would change his flight and stay longer in PR for her. She told him no and to go home. He cried. Alone. On the beach.

- The alcoholic store loves us so much that we get free booze when we go in there. Yay shots! At the acoholic store we bought about 3million flasks of Don Q (a gorgeous puerto rican rum). We carry it in our purses everywhere we go. Yay to drinking!

- And we love our SexSlave. Everymorning we wake to different yummy food: we got Omelettes, Pancakes, French Toast, etc etc. SexSlave's duties are varied and difficult and include the following: lotion applicator, breakfast maker, bodyguard, boyfriend, dancer, life guard, note taker.

- Yesterday morning, I woke up to a boy asleep in our hammock... oh, did I mention we have a private beach?

Thursday, January 05, 2006

HOUSTON

I am finally in Houston!! I get to visit with Shasha, Lil8oz, Keg. I am so excited!

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The next day:
GO TEXAS!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A GAME!
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The next day:
I got drunk at Shasha's mom's house. She makes the BEST martinis and I was downing them with a straw. Oops. I was so drunk I had to excuse myself from dinner to go to sleep. Oh well.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

MeZack

Sista Lindz and I kidnapped MeZack at his house today, and did a round of drinking tours around Dallas. We ate dinner three times, and went to four happy hours, all the while making fun of everyone. MeZack even made the shape of Texas (and Oklahoma) out of bits of a coaster (he was bored). MeZack's sister and her friends have decided to steal Sista Lindz from me. That is not fair. I will no longer make my friends meet.

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